Change is a solitary journey

Love is about nurturing. It is about healing too but one cannot heal if they are not whole themselves.  People in general (except those who are addicted on fixing what is broken) tend to want to be in a relationship  with people who have good habits and stable personalities, with sound values. Not only such union can provide true happiness, but to a significant extent, it can greatly help in adopting a sound stable and healthy life style. 

Knowing all of this, one should not attempt to fix others. Love has great healing powers but only if  the desire to change is emerging from within the person and not from us.

Working on oneself and improving one’s life then becomes a solitary project.  Letting go of unhealthy attachments and habits, behavioral patterns and issues are one's own responsibility and truthfully no one can assist them in it without an invitation. Our partners may want to help, advice, and encourage, but much pain and hassle will stem from it that may backfire on the relationship. It is better to work on oneself first and then seek a partner that assist and complete us in our journey to be better people.

Change cannot be imposed from the outside. No one can change us to anything, even if that change is better for us. If we are not ready and convinced, the very attempt of changing us may end up being viewed as a subtle expression of none acceptance and lack of love.

Of course when one gains our trust through their unconditional love and acceptance throughout a long period of time, it is easier for them to help as they have a view of our inner souls. In this case the person won our trust first and they have a good chance to be able to change us back. Yet, even in this case, change remains a solitary battle.

It may sound sad that life is such a solitary place with little help from the outside world (except of course the professional help that we seek in convection). The truth is that we are not alone. Help may come through an inspiration and may show, sometimes, from the least possible sources. By surrounding ourselves with positive people, positive thoughts, and positive surroundings we can create wonderful change in our lives.

Surprisingly, change can come from giving our love to others in an unconditional way, through kindness and charity. The healing powers of such love can create wonders in our lives. 

We cannot change those whom we love unless they want to change and see the need of it in themselves. Our persistence efforts will surly backfire as our constant efforts to change them only spell rejection and none acceptance to them. We can support though in their journey and show patience and tolerance during their difficult transition. Love when given freely and without being attached to a condition is the only and most valuable thing we can provide them during their time of challenge.