A letter from Heaven

What if your true happiness is not conditioned on anything? Not on a career you want to achieve, a study to finish, a person to be with, a place to be at or a certain amount of money in the bank? What if your happiness can be achieved by learning a simple method, that you can practice anywhere and any time at no cost to you, not even the cost of time?!

I discovered this after working on myself for only ten days. I decided I had nothing to lose after my pattern of thinking caused me and others so much pain. I was already tired of myself, of the hurt I felt and of the hurt I inflected. I decided something needed to change.

One day, I came home from watching the movie "Elysium" and while checking for the trailer I discovered a piece of music called "Awakening" by Jo Blankenburg, a composer for motion pictures I have never heard of before. I listened and his music took me to a sleep that I never experienced since I was a child.

I slept and woke up at 5:30am. I found myself doing something quite strange. I went to my living room and moved the coffee table clearing the rug space and started doing yoga for two straight hours. To understand the magnitude of this transformation, one should know two things; firstly, I am not a sport or exercise type person, secondly I do not know yoga. The thing that made all of this so effective is that during this practice I only focused on my moves and my breathing, my mind was clear, so clear I was not even thinking what I was doing or how! My mind had no questions and no exclamation marks, did not feel surprised at that moment by the moment or what I was able to do or how!!

This routine became what I do in the morning and I stopped questioning it. It lead me to listen to Eckhart Tolle and then Tolle lead me through to Byron Katie and "The work", her simple, yet powerful method that complements Tolle's work and philosophy.

Simply the one thing I needed to do is living in the moment. Ignoring any thoughts related to the future or the past. While Tolle asked his readers to watch the thought and let it go without following it on its trail which is the thought that is born or emerges form the first thought and so on, Katie wanted us to examine it using four basic questions that will show its illusion like nature to expose it to reality and then let it die and vanish. By combining both methods I became aware of my thoughts, the feelings they make me feel and how to let them go without following them, qualifying them or allowing them to effect me. My mind was my torture machine and now it is losing its grip on me as its victim.

I started experiencing joy. Seeing the world in "color" and feeling peace for the first time in so many years in  my life. It is the kind of joy we feel when we are in love or when we are in a new exotic and amazing place. I was not in a different place, I was certainly in love though, with myself and the world.

My usual cravings to people, places and change disappeared. My need for something to happen, something to change in order to feel better vanished. I stopped looking at the next moment because the one I am in now was perfect and no moment would or could replace it. I was moving on waves with total let go and surrender and it felt like heaven. Like being on the water, lying on your back and letting the waves carry you from point to point and just enjoying it as it is, no more and no less.

New perceptions and habits emerged fast. Some like not wearing make up at all was surprising but my face in the mirror started to look much nicer, maybe because I was not worried anymore, my face only reflected peace.

I also noticed that people were quieter and nicer. They got no vibes from me so they also sent none. They were kinder and more accommodating as they felt no tension around me, just the calm.

I used to prefer to keep my curtains down, I felt I wanted my curtains to come up and to allow the light to come in and those colors I started to see now and I never noticed how beautiful they were before. Just by following Tolle's advice to focus on our surrounding with full presence, the world comes through in full focus and you start seeing things as if you have never seen them before.

It may sound funny but just noticing a simple detail like that the green on one side of road frame was different than the other side a bit created some joy of discovery akin to a child's joy. Not labeling things and just watching them, produced an euphoric sense. I am sure there is some physiological changes in the brain that this way of thinking (or more accurately none thinking) produced that is responsible for all the amazing joyful feelings I am having now.

The feelings are calm, none intense unlike those one would get from chemicals. It leaves you functional and rested and it makes you feel like you were simply born again.

This method helped millions. Some with problems such as cancer and other serious issues to find joy and happiness and to find the center of heaven within their lives.

I am no longer tortured by a past that no longer exists nor fear a future that is just an illusion construct in my head. I am free, free and at peace at last.

I wish I can bring this to the world around me and help people to reach this sense of calm and freedom. One teaching is to be responsible for oneself and not to try to bring people to a place they may not be ready for. One can just share and explain and point out. When we are ready, usually we move towards this place on our own. Most of us will seek it out of suffering, some out of the need for change, others because they want to be better people or to simply have a more effective and functional life.

I am at awe of all the changes in me and how fast it all fell in place. It is true, I knew Tolle's work for a long time and I am aware of the principle of thought monitoring and letting go.  I did practice it in the past but not in this strict way.

I just wish I can share my heaven with the whole world.