Forgivness
The first time I heard the term "forgive yourself" I felt like I was
hearing a language I do not understand.
I did not get how forgiving our own mistakes for ourselves can be a good thing. I came from a culture that praises regret and blaming the self (and others, the whole world if possible including strangers and far away countries and the weather and anything one can think of), encourages hurting emotionally and lashing on oneself.
A culture that rejoices in tales of the awakened who died of deep sorrow over their sins. We believe that tears of regrets wash our sins and bring us God forgiveness, so how come forgiving oneself can be any good, should not we torture ourselves instead in order to achieve purity? It took me years to understand. While regret is expected and feeling hurt for hurting someone or cause them pain is quite a normal and a good thing, what is wrong is to continue weakening yourself by lashing and lashing on yourself, by refusing to forgive yourself, by condemning yourself which in it is the core belief that you were not forgiven.
This core belief, in the the culture I came from is not a positive belief. Therefore if the an act or belief leads us to an unwanted belief then the first act was never right in the first place. Some of us also blame themselves for acts that were done to them such as abuse thinking they provoked the attacker.
Some blame themselves for choices of others such as children of divorce who blame themselves for their parents divorce though it is none of their fault. Some blame themselves for not having the love they deserve thinking it is their mistake. The beauty of forgiveness is that it does not examine or care who's fault it was, it only embraces and loves, it allows letting go and moving forward, it breeds love within and without and it frees us to choose to be better people as we grow and change.
I did not get how forgiving our own mistakes for ourselves can be a good thing. I came from a culture that praises regret and blaming the self (and others, the whole world if possible including strangers and far away countries and the weather and anything one can think of), encourages hurting emotionally and lashing on oneself.
A culture that rejoices in tales of the awakened who died of deep sorrow over their sins. We believe that tears of regrets wash our sins and bring us God forgiveness, so how come forgiving oneself can be any good, should not we torture ourselves instead in order to achieve purity? It took me years to understand. While regret is expected and feeling hurt for hurting someone or cause them pain is quite a normal and a good thing, what is wrong is to continue weakening yourself by lashing and lashing on yourself, by refusing to forgive yourself, by condemning yourself which in it is the core belief that you were not forgiven.
This core belief, in the the culture I came from is not a positive belief. Therefore if the an act or belief leads us to an unwanted belief then the first act was never right in the first place. Some of us also blame themselves for acts that were done to them such as abuse thinking they provoked the attacker.
Some blame themselves for choices of others such as children of divorce who blame themselves for their parents divorce though it is none of their fault. Some blame themselves for not having the love they deserve thinking it is their mistake. The beauty of forgiveness is that it does not examine or care who's fault it was, it only embraces and loves, it allows letting go and moving forward, it breeds love within and without and it frees us to choose to be better people as we grow and change.
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