Emotionally destructive relationships
Have you ever been in a relationship where:
• Most conversations centered on your partner, where those conversations either spoke about his/her thoughts, experiences, and his/her vision of the world or consisted of questions that focused on his/her feelings, work, various concerns or health?
• Have you been in a relationship where your feelings were labeled as moodiness, nagging or plain none important while your partner's angry, impatient, arrogant or hurtful words and behavior are expected to be tolerated and overlooked if not even soothed for you caused them to be that way?
• Have you ever experienced a relationship where choices of how time spent would focus on activities that either would benefit him/her or he/she would enjoy and where in the few or none existing instances that you liked something he or she did not like they simply found a way to escape it or withdraw from that activity?
• Have you been in a relationship where your partner withdrew when your mood was bad or you needed emotional support so you would not ‘pollute” his or her mood while they expected from you to fill in at times when their mood was truly low and depressed?
• Have you been in a relationship where you were hurt with all sorts of subtle and none subtle rejections and withholding of feelings or acts of affection and intimacy while your partner is fully aware of your need for these acts and feelings?
• Have you been in a relationship where your partner used subtle degrading words about you, your family, or anything you care about, or used any remarks that would put you down even when you said more than once he or she should stop speaking in that manner and that it hurts you?
• Have you been in a relationship where you partner under the claim of honesty or advice used a language that hurts you or concepts and ideas that is not in alignment with reality, questioned your perceptions in spite of the plain facts or made you doubt your judgement about the obvious?
• Have you been in a relationship where simple acts of devotion, care and intimacy were encouraged and received but never reciprocated?
• Have you simply been in a relationship where the time and schedule of your partner was always far more valued than yours and where he or she expected you to cater to them according to their own preferred time and rarely if ever thought of catering to yours?
• Have you been in a relationship where decisions of what to do to fix things were unilateral as well as the process of thoughts and conclusion whenever you expressed your lack of satisfaction instead of listening to you and simply formulating a mutual conclusion and solution?
• Have you found yourself in a perpetual giving situation and with the first mistake you made out of overt draining and stress of lack of reciprocation, care, true understanding and intimacy your partner acted as if you have committed a cardinal sin and simply cut you off or gave you the silent treatment or withheld affection or intimacy or simply disappeared from you for hours or days in a raw without stating they needed a time off?
• Have you been in a relationship where it was always your mistake, he or she rarely admitted or even saw any contribution to why you seemed moody and unhappy and always needed a time off while they acted as the forgiving and understanding party for your stupid transgressions and lack of stability?
Have you been in a place like this in life and then it all ended and instead of feeling bad you felt actually free and elated and wondered why such an ending only created a mild sense of loss?!
Well, read above and you will know. Did you see? No? I will tell you then, you did not lose anything, you merely “lost” the loss and constant unilateral draining and ABUSE of your heart and soul. Now go out there and find someone who can give you back and rejoice in your spirit and big heart.
• Most conversations centered on your partner, where those conversations either spoke about his/her thoughts, experiences, and his/her vision of the world or consisted of questions that focused on his/her feelings, work, various concerns or health?
• Have you been in a relationship where your feelings were labeled as moodiness, nagging or plain none important while your partner's angry, impatient, arrogant or hurtful words and behavior are expected to be tolerated and overlooked if not even soothed for you caused them to be that way?
• Have you ever experienced a relationship where choices of how time spent would focus on activities that either would benefit him/her or he/she would enjoy and where in the few or none existing instances that you liked something he or she did not like they simply found a way to escape it or withdraw from that activity?
• Have you been in a relationship where your partner withdrew when your mood was bad or you needed emotional support so you would not ‘pollute” his or her mood while they expected from you to fill in at times when their mood was truly low and depressed?
• Have you been in a relationship where you were hurt with all sorts of subtle and none subtle rejections and withholding of feelings or acts of affection and intimacy while your partner is fully aware of your need for these acts and feelings?
• Have you been in a relationship where your partner used subtle degrading words about you, your family, or anything you care about, or used any remarks that would put you down even when you said more than once he or she should stop speaking in that manner and that it hurts you?
• Have you been in a relationship where you partner under the claim of honesty or advice used a language that hurts you or concepts and ideas that is not in alignment with reality, questioned your perceptions in spite of the plain facts or made you doubt your judgement about the obvious?
• Have you been in a relationship where simple acts of devotion, care and intimacy were encouraged and received but never reciprocated?
• Have you simply been in a relationship where the time and schedule of your partner was always far more valued than yours and where he or she expected you to cater to them according to their own preferred time and rarely if ever thought of catering to yours?
• Have you been in a relationship where decisions of what to do to fix things were unilateral as well as the process of thoughts and conclusion whenever you expressed your lack of satisfaction instead of listening to you and simply formulating a mutual conclusion and solution?
• Have you found yourself in a perpetual giving situation and with the first mistake you made out of overt draining and stress of lack of reciprocation, care, true understanding and intimacy your partner acted as if you have committed a cardinal sin and simply cut you off or gave you the silent treatment or withheld affection or intimacy or simply disappeared from you for hours or days in a raw without stating they needed a time off?
• Have you been in a relationship where it was always your mistake, he or she rarely admitted or even saw any contribution to why you seemed moody and unhappy and always needed a time off while they acted as the forgiving and understanding party for your stupid transgressions and lack of stability?
Have you been in a place like this in life and then it all ended and instead of feeling bad you felt actually free and elated and wondered why such an ending only created a mild sense of loss?!
Well, read above and you will know. Did you see? No? I will tell you then, you did not lose anything, you merely “lost” the loss and constant unilateral draining and ABUSE of your heart and soul. Now go out there and find someone who can give you back and rejoice in your spirit and big heart.
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