About grief and survival
When I was five my grandmother passed away. I loved her so much and we
used to spend lots of time together as she lived with us. She used to
babysit me when my mother was away and rock me to sleep with her magical
stories.
I still recall how my cousin took me to get some juice and a sandwich from the hospital to come back and find my mother devastated in her calm dignified way. It took me a while to understand she passed away and no longer she would come back with us home as my mother kept saying.
My mother later and for years talked about my grandmothers with vivid recalling of the moment my grandmother passed away in her arms, she would say in utter pain the
years failed to dim " she was talking to me, then she said "oh" one last
suffocated short cry, and she was gone". I didn't see my grandmother
after we came back to the hospital due to tradition of burial.
My uncle who was very close to us passed away three years later and my mother mourned him as a broken person. They fought like cats and mice when he was alive, yet she mourned him, her only sibling hard and long.
My mother's death was something I dreaded after for many years. She was my world, my friend and my idol. I couldn't imagine living in this world without her.
When I was a young intern just graduating from medical school, I met the man who would become my husband, mentor and the father of my children. We were married shortly after and together we had two beautiful daughters.
My mother passed away ten years ago in October 2002 and five days later, the father of my children followed her. He was young with so much life it was hard to believe a heart attack that no one expected and with no previous illness would end his short life.
Those I loved are gone. I grieved and hurt and missed them so much, but I am still alive and able to smile still.
We heal, we survive our losses and griefs, even those we did not think we would survive.
Pain and loss are inevitable facts of life that open doors to higher spiritual awareness. We do not change when there is no need or catalyst for change.
Some of us believe that life owes us happiness. Life owes us nothing.
Pain is a friend if we use it to propel our spirit to higher grounds, if we accept it and worked with it. It's not the events that effect us, it is how we perceive them and deal with them.
That day she no longer was in life with me, I grew many years in few days, I missed her, I wanted to talk to her again and a part of me refused to give up to death, to its harsh finality.
That was when spirituality became part of my life. It allowed me to find peace, to see events in a different light and to weather the hard years that followed.
I still recall how my cousin took me to get some juice and a sandwich from the hospital to come back and find my mother devastated in her calm dignified way. It took me a while to understand she passed away and no longer she would come back with us home as my mother kept saying.
My uncle who was very close to us passed away three years later and my mother mourned him as a broken person. They fought like cats and mice when he was alive, yet she mourned him, her only sibling hard and long.
My mother's death was something I dreaded after for many years. She was my world, my friend and my idol. I couldn't imagine living in this world without her.
When I was a young intern just graduating from medical school, I met the man who would become my husband, mentor and the father of my children. We were married shortly after and together we had two beautiful daughters.
My mother passed away ten years ago in October 2002 and five days later, the father of my children followed her. He was young with so much life it was hard to believe a heart attack that no one expected and with no previous illness would end his short life.
Those I loved are gone. I grieved and hurt and missed them so much, but I am still alive and able to smile still.
We heal, we survive our losses and griefs, even those we did not think we would survive.
Pain and loss are inevitable facts of life that open doors to higher spiritual awareness. We do not change when there is no need or catalyst for change.
Some of us believe that life owes us happiness. Life owes us nothing.
Pain is a friend if we use it to propel our spirit to higher grounds, if we accept it and worked with it. It's not the events that effect us, it is how we perceive them and deal with them.
That day she no longer was in life with me, I grew many years in few days, I missed her, I wanted to talk to her again and a part of me refused to give up to death, to its harsh finality.
That was when spirituality became part of my life. It allowed me to find peace, to see events in a different light and to weather the hard years that followed.
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